You really should fall before every god ever dreamt up by the fucking moronic old people from like whatever BC and thank them all with sloppy blow jobs complete with vast intakes of semen and blood because Zeus, Satan, and Rael like to throatfuck because you somehow managed to have survived this ridiculous sonic vivisectional colonic of a band's existance long enough to see them dead!
You're one of 12 worthless mouthbreathing dipshit idiots in the
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You really should fall before every god ever dreamt up by the fucking moronic old people from like whatever BC and thank them all with sloppy blow jobs complete with vast intakes of semen and blood because Zeus, Satan, and Rael like to throatfuck because you somehow managed to have survived this ridiculous sonic vivisectional colonic of a band's existance long enough to see them dead!
You're one of 12 worthless mouthbreathing dipshit idiots in the entire world left alive after the Reverend Horsenuts' violent implosion in a federal supermax prison when the fucking morons who ran the place he truly loved and considered the home his parents refused to give him because they were fucking sucking his dick all the time and giving him toys and gifts and spoiling his ass with cock enemas and incredibly behemoth suppositories full of lard, chocolate, and love. The world has seriously lost a major icon. Before Dethklok fans were suiciding to see their shitty favorite poser band, Zombie Sneak Attack were murdering scores of you mouthbreathing negroid halfbreed dumbasses with noise alone.
Fuck other bands! ZSA's primary influences were awesome, fun subjects like rape victim's bellowing cries of pleasure masked as screams for help or to STOP OMFG STOP (yeah.. like he's going to listen to your dumb cunt ass and pull out and be like OH SHIT IM SORRY LET ME GET YOU A TOWEL... no. he's going to finish all over your insides and then you'll be knocked up with a worthless gaping mouthed rape baby that you really hate because he looks like the black guy who gave you tube), giving small children lead poisoning, watching redneck kids shoot cats and beat their sisters before performing toothy cunnilingus on their pre-pubescent snatches while they attempt but fail to recite the ABCs song in stupid little towns that republicans and conservative closeted faggot fudge tunnel fanatics consider "the real america"
This is what REALLY happens in America today, and ZSA celebrated man's horrific nature in each and every brown note produced, even on the really stupid and totally unmetal unreleased ZSA album which thankfully nobody but one privilaged snobbed out gaping slimy discharging asshole named VMX remembers, which was like Zelda music with song lengths above 3 minutes. This accident happened when Reverend Horsenuts discovered mushrooms and went totally Rush and lame ass prof and decided to make "music". The album was eventually leaked under a different band name (f00k!!!), by the artist Horsenuts (NOT the REVEREND Horsenuts).
Zombie Sneak Attack, inventors of the Internet-Glitchgrind genre were clearly just too fucking much for your pretty pink ears so you never even tore the shrink wrap off their album, but locked yourself in a basement living off rat shit and smearing spaghetti-os all over your naked chest. The music produced by these geniuses of modern sound barely qualified as music, yet is more profound than any song released by Celine Dion. Zombie Sneak Attack are the only known musicians capable of producing the "brown note", as heard on the soon-to-be-released song Sonic Colonic. Zombie Sneak Attack have the distinction of being a #1 artist on the old mp3.com site, holding the Grindcore chart's #1 position for roughly 13 minutes with their smash hit, Smuggling Plums.
ZSA is made up of The Reverend Horsenuts and The Compiler. The two met in a brothel somewhere in Zimbabwe after noticing very faint, cheesy 80s hair metal eminating from eachothers' rooms. They immediately began bellowing Bon Jovi songs at top volume for roughly 5 hours. Within months, the first Zombie Sneack Attack album was released: Scream 'Til You Die. The album's influences include the Holocaust (particularly the Caust part), an incident in Italy in 1989 where 4,000 people died for no obvious reason whatsoever, suicides from the Golden Gate Bridge, and the torture of live animals. The band holds the distinction of being the first band to ever release an album influenced by no other musical artists, but events in history.
Most of their albums were gathered together by world leaders and destroyed out of fear that somebody might totally wig out when they hear it, but they've recently compiled their most clinically insane tracks on "ALL: THE VERY FUCKING WORST OF ZOMBIE SNEAK ATTACK" an 18 minute sonic assault that will cause you to lose control over all intake and outtake of bodily fluids.
The Compiler died in prison in 2009. During his parole hearing in 2006 in regards to his genocide case, he punched the fucking old ass judge in the face, threw him out of his own courtroom, took the bench, and sentenced himself to a long life of cunt punching. He was given an extra 10 years. In 2009, the judge just showed up out of nowhere and made the Compiler swallow his fucking fist! It was SO black metal!
Reverend Horsenuts died in 2013 in prison when he was granted parole. Not willing to return to life outside of his solitude, he attempted to use his top secret Catholic psychicpreist training from back in the day when he learned how to blow goats up with his amazing mind on the parole panel, but apparantly did it wrong like a fucking moron and self-imploded, causing at minimum 600,000,000 American mouthbreathing dumbfucks and 9.9 million Mexican chili choking pepper belly deaths.
Rumors of a reunion in the afterlife have been circulating all over the fucking place.
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…shrink me down again
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