Yardwork

Yardwork started as a recording project to manifest the positive energy of Thomas Shelburne Berkau II. Having mastered 0 instruments at the early age of 24, Thomas began fleshing out songs on washing machines, high quality sauce pans, and steering wheels. After learning how to play the drums like and intense child, he then learned the "A" chord on the guitar. This opened a realm of indescribable musical possibility. His new project somehow caught the ears of a talented young boy named Derek Whycoff of the Naked Gods. Read more on Last.fm …read full bio

Yardwork started as a recording project to manifest the positive energy of Thomas Shelburne Berkau II. Having mastered 0 instruments at the early age of 24, Thomas began fleshing out songs on washing machines, high quality sauce pans, and steering wheels. After learning how to play the drums like and intense child, he then learned the "A" chord on the guitar. This opened a realm of indescribable musical possibility. His new project somehow caught the ears of a talented young boy named Derek Whycoff of the Naked Gods. Derek then began recording Thomas’ songs and eventually they started to write together. These songs then sparked some interest in the hearts and minds of other untalented individuals. People like Eddie Schniiiiiider (golden dude) and Matt (Jaime ’08)Nelson (Jail Sucks, Snowboarding) joined in and even bought some instruments! Having already been playing with former Control band mates Matt Russel, Lesandro Herrera, and Taylox Knox the Funseeker, they still needed one more member to solidify the gigantic positivity ray that would become Yardwork. One evening after a powerful Truth Fire(1) the boys in Yardwork took a Trust Hike(2) up into an unknown region of Lower North Carolina. Tied together and blindfolded the boys encountered a group of feral, mutant school teachers. (the academic agenda they once had has long since vanished from their maniacal, soulless brains). They were armed with Pop quizzes, disgusting homework assignments, powerful detention and ISS sentences, and they even possed the ability to administer the dreaded Slave Quiz(3). taken by surprise they had no where to turn and their musical blade had yet to be sharpened. All of a sudden, a beautiful, bejeweled silver hand emerged from the filthy earth that the school teachers had polluted with the bones of students, just the sight of it was like 1,000 Christmases. Bo White, (the hands human form), then produced the largest ray of Posi-Violet light(4) ever seen by the eyes of dudes. The PV Rays cut through the feeble brains of the teachers and left them even more lifeless than they were before. Yardwork was saved! Bo White shifted back into human from and asked about their journey and their charge and decided he would accept their invitation to sit at their sonic table and feast on positivity. As they rejoiced and freeformed(5) they noticed something moving among the enemies remains. And there he stood, glowing from the PV ray’s blast, Andy Thulis! Theorist speculate that Thulis was but a small lizard who was mutated from the blast, and rose from the Posi-math(6). What ever he once was, he is now the Spiritual Focus Puller of Yardwork, and protects them from the darkside of the spirit world. Yardwork’s energy had fully formed into a human band. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- (1) A fire that is fueled by truth energy. (2) A Group walk that combines truth energy, earth energy, and fitness energy. The Trust Hike meant to strengthen the bond between the molecules on different living and "non living" entities. Also known in some regions as a "Trust Walk". (3) An impassible pop quiz that tests not the conscious mind, but the mind that regulates the bodies natural processes. This is said to equal -300 thousand Christmases on the negativity scale. Only one human has passed a slave quiz. On June 17th, 1979 Andrew Fetterly Wilkes-Krier and his parents were slave quizzed by "He Who Cannot Be Named". It is said that he was saved when his mother protected him with True Positive Energy. He was orphaned and "He Who Cannot Be Named" was stricken of his humanoid form. Wilkes-Kreir suffered a peculiar head scar, colorblindness, and the inability to forget names, a condition he shared with the late Richard M. Nixon. he spent his childhoood with his aunt, uncle and cousin and attended a special positivity school throughout his teens. (4) Extremely powerful and visible rays of light seen only by those who have acquired the required frequency of positive energy in their spiritual energy core, also know in western cultures as the brain. Often referred to as PV rays, Posi-Violet light can cause reverse colorblindness, 360 degree vision, and, in males, what is know as, "pinky tremors". If directed at a negative force it is automatically weaponized and can rarely be bested. PV rays are harmless to the average populous but can be felt and can cause a variety of effects such as "freeform movement" and open mouthed smiles, and or laughter. (5) Body movements generated only by positive energy. Anthropologist and Philosopher, Dr. Clause Raintape, (inventor of raintape) describes Freeform as "the truest art". Generally occurring among human beings, Freeform has also been seen among societies of raccoons, lesser Egrets, Blue herons, white herons, and some rare species of cave lice. (6)Remnants of a Posi-phonic Blast or a weaponized PV ray. Organisms have been know to arise in permenat mutated form from some posi-math. Read more on Last.fm. User-contributed text is available under the Creative Commons By-SA License; additional terms may apply.

User-contributed text is available under the Creative Commons By-SA License and may also be available under the GNU FDL.

…shrink me down again